10 Hilarious Ways to Inform Your Guests That Children Are Not Invited To Your Wedding

Image of pretty confused displeased young little girl posing isolated over blue wall background.
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Let’s face it, not every couple dreams of a child-filled celebration on their wedding day. If you’re among the kid-free wedding enthusiasts who prefer a more adult-oriented celebration, we’ve got you covered.

Disclaimer: For Satirical Purposes Only

Portrait of boy groom looking aside with his bride telling him secret

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In this VERY tongue-in-cheek list, we present ten hilariously offensive and rude ways to let your guests know that your wedding is strictly an adults-only event.

Disclaimer: Please remember that this article is intended for satirical purposes only. Don’t actually use these suggestions unless you want some seriously offended friends and family members!

The “Kids Will Be Towed” Approach

Offended cute sulking young blond little girl kid looking upset, frowning hold hands hips insulted, stare camera disappointed, waiting apologies, jealous brother ate her sweets, white background

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Include a graphic of a tow truck towing away a child’s tricycle in your wedding invitation. Caption it with a lighthearted message like, “Sorry kiddos, we don’t do wheelies at our wedding. Let’s save the tricycles for the after-party!”

“Adults Only: Leave Your Little Monsters at Home!”

Bride with bridesmaids and little girl kids in the same color dr

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Announce your kid-free wedding using a playful invitation featuring a monster-themed design. Accompany it with a snarky note: “Please leave your little monsters at home; this wedding is exclusively for adult beasts who know how to party!”

The “Darth Vader” Defense

Angry little asian boy showing frustration and disagreement, isolated on white background

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Incorporate some Star Wars-inspired humor by designing your invitations like a galactic battle scene. Include the phrase, “May the force be with you, but not your children at our wedding. Sorry, Jedi younglings!”

“No Kid Zone: We’re Allergic to Sticky Fingers!”

Kids entertainment table at a wedding with colorful markers in a jar and a chalkboard sign

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Send out a wedding invitation that features a giant, outstretched hand covered in gooey chocolate or sticky slime. Underneath, add a quirky message like, “To ensure a mess-free celebration, we kindly request a child-free zone. Sticky fingers and wedding cake don’t mix!”

The “Kid-less Kingdom”

Happy brunette female guest and bride drinking coctails by wedding table, spending time with kids. Photo of a wedding decor for a 20 year anniversary, a garden party

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Design your wedding invitation like a medieval fairytale and playfully declare, “Our kingdom shall be free of tiny royal subjects. The castle gates are open to adults only, leaving the little knights and princesses to their own adventures!”

“No Kids, No Crying: We’re All Out of Tissues!”

Little girl being disciplined pouting and looking sad.

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Capture your guests’ attention with a wedding invitation resembling a pack of tissues. Print the words, “Sorry, no kids allowed. We’re all out of tissues to wipe away those joyful (or not-so-joyful) tears!”

The “21+ Club”

Portrait of angry kid on studio isolated background. Upset kid upset boy with mad expression.

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Channel your inner bouncer and create an invitation that looks like a VIP nightclub entry pass. Emblazon it with the words, “21+ Club Only: We’re serving up a night of grown-up fun. Leave the kiddos at home and join us on the dance floor!”

“Strictly Adult Humor”

Small girl with blond pony-tail looking seriously, folding hands and frowning eyebrows. Her gloomy appearance says she is very unhappy and offended. Blond baby showing disapproval with pursed lips.

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Add a cheeky twist to your wedding invitation by including a funny illustration with a hidden adult-oriented joke. Accompany it with the caption, “This wedding promises lots of laughs, inappropriate jokes, and questionable dance moves. Sorry, folks, adults only!”

The “Silent Treatment”

Portrait of small girl outdoors in garden, crying.

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Send out wedding invitations featuring an adorable picture of a sleeping baby, overlaid with the words, “Shhh… No kids allowed. We want everyone to experience the blissful sound of silence during our wedding ceremony!”

“Breaking News: No Minors Permitted!”

little bridesmaid standing in a green garden with bouquet

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Design your invitation to resemble a breaking news bulletin, with a headline that reads, “Wedding Exclusive: No Minors Permitted! Join us as we celebrate without tiny reporters covering the event.”

Sorry, Not Sorry: No Kids Allowed

Disappointed displeased pity girl show thumbs down grimace dislike express negative opinion thumbs down gesture apologizing giving bad feedback stand purple background unimpressed.

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While we hope these suggestions brought a smile to your face, it’s important to remember that respect and sensitivity should guide your wedding planning decisions. Instead of using offensive or rude approaches, communicate your desire for a child-free celebration with clear and considerate language. After all, a wedding is a joyous occasion meant to bring people together, even if some little ones aren’t on the guest list.
This story was inspired by Reddit and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Budget Savvy Bride.

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Angry Irritated bride woman in white wedding dress spreading hands, talking on mobile phone, screaming and swearing isolated on pastel pink background. Wedding to do list. Organization of celebration

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