Bride Insists on Vegetarian Wedding Food Despite Fiancé’s Opposition
They say vegans always take advantage of the opportunity to tell everyone about their food choices. As a vegan, I can confirm that this is true. However, there’s a thick line between eagerly sharing your diet and imposing it on others. A vegetarian, who we will call Rachel, found herself in a tough position after wanting to serve only vegetarian food for her wedding catering.
The Cultural Differences
Rachel comes from a South Indian Hindu background, and her fiancé is white American and Christian. So their wedding will include both cultures. They’re having two ceremonies and a reception dinner.
Rachel and her finance love meat, but her culture does not recommend eating meat at a wedding. South Indian Hindu weddings should fall on a lucky day, and meat is prohibited.
Rachel’s fiancé is hesitant about this. He worries that the non-Indian guests will think they’re being cheap by serving only vegetarian food and not providing alcohol. Rachel disagrees, as South Indian culture has many delicious dishes which are served on a banana leaf plate.
They will also serve Western desserts. Her fiancé’s family also enjoys vegetarian Indian food. Including meat would displease Rachel’s family as they don’t eat meat on auspicious days. What would you do?
After sharing her dilemma in an online forum, here are opinions from its members.
Let the Guests Decide
South Indians don’t stop the rest of the world from eating meat on auspicious days. Several thread contributors propose that Rachel should have two buffets, one with traditional foods and the other with American dishes. She should place them on opposite sides and let the guests have their pick.
You Are Not Marrying Yourself
You don’t begin a marriage by trying to erase your partner’s needs. Someone states that Rachel needs to remember that the wedding is for her and her fiance. Thus, it should include both cultures. If he wants meat at the wedding, he should have that.
He’s making a compromise by agreeing to a no-alcohol wedding, so Rachel should also yield some. Rachel must evaluate whether she wants to marry into the Western culture if she doesn’t want the culture at her wedding.
The Auspicious Time Is a Window of Time
A South Indian Hindu explains that the no meat rule applies only to weddings held in temples or temple halls. A priest officiates such weddings, so the meal served immediately after cannot have meat in their presence. The auspicious time is also about an hour or less. Rachel’s demands seem more like a family preference.
Your Wedding Your Rules
Just because guests eat vegetarian for a day doesn’t mean a diet is being forced on them. One person replies that guests are invited to partake in whatever you offer. Your wedding is a sacred place and a shared bubble where you invite guests to celebrate.
Food is a reflection of what the couple stands for. Since Rachel’s fiancé seems to enjoy vegetarian food, they should serve that, and everyone else will get on board.
Consider Some American Classics
According to one American, meat does not define American culture. Rachel should consider adding American comfort foods like mashed potatoes and mac and cheese. These dishes do not have meat and are a great way to include American culture.
Offer Some Utensils
Do you think eating off of a banana leaf comes off as cheap? Somebody advises Rachel to at least offer some utensils as guests may find eating from a banana leaf without a fork challenging. They saw a linked photo of traditional food on a banana leaf, and it seems people eat with their hands.
Let Your Guests in on the Culture
Guests who understand the food’s cultural significance are less likely to oppose it. A responder suggests making an announcement at the wedding or writing something in the invitation that explains Rachel’s culture.
They should also serve high-quality vegetarian food, which makes it clear they invested time in it. Vegetarian food doesn’t have to taste like cardboard.
The Real Problem Is the Dry Wedding
Never underestimate how much meat and alcohol mean to Americans. An individual guarantees that no one will notice the vegetarian food as they’ll be too busy complaining about having no alcohol.
Rachel should find something that the guests will enjoy and know they’re not trying to have a cheap wedding. Instead, they joke, “A Tim McGraw performance could do.”
Americans Love to Explore
Finally, a user who’s had vegetarian food at a wedding indicates that it’s amazing. The couple wanted to support their favorite eating spot, run by an Indian sect, and let people pay what they could. They had the same worries, but everyone enjoyed the food. It was filling and tasty. Some food samples may help in convincing Rachel’s fiancé.
What do you think?
This story was inspired by Reddit and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Budget Savvy Bride.
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