I Was Uninvited from the Wedding, Do I Still Have to Send the Gift I Promised?

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Imagine the audacity of being uninvited to a wedding, yet still being expected to deliver on an extravagant present. In a shocking turn of events, one Reddit user found themselves in this very situation.

The Backstory

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Let’s dive into the captivating story of “Sam” and his ill-fated wedding gift promise, as he navigated the treacherous waters of being uninvited from the guest list of an acquaintance.

Sam Was Initially Invited

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Sam says his colleague and friend, “Molly,” was planning her wedding and handing out invites ahead of her special day. “I have a very good career and make an excellent living. Plus, I love giving gifts and splurging a bit. So, I spoke with Molly and her fiancé and promised them a custom-made gaming PC.”

Sam says that Molly was super excited about the new personal computer, and he put in the order, willing to throw in a monitor on top of the nearly $1500 he expected to spend on this promised gift.

Then, Suddenly Uninvited

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A couple of months before the wedding, Molly called Sam and told him he wouldn’t be able to come because she had to “cut costs.” Come to find out, another colleague of Sam and Molly — who was still going to the wedding — told Sam that Molly had to cut the guest list so that some of the groom’s family could attend.

Sam was ticked off and decided to scrap the expensive and thoughtful gift he had intended to give Molly and her new husband.

A few weeks later, Sam got a text from Molly asking if they could talk about when the PC was due to arrive. Sam asked if they could talk over the phone, and Molly agreed. When Sam told Molly that he had no intention of gifting the promised PC because he had been uninvited to the wedding, Molly called him a derogatory term, and their mutual friend group is split on whether or not Sam did the right thing.

In the age of the internet, this story got plenty of comments on Sam’s approach to this situation and Molly’s reaction. Here are ten of the top comments.

1. Delusional

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One contributor had this to say about Molly’s expectations. “Molly is delusional if she expects an acquaintance who was uninvited to give a gift after the fact.”

2. Reality

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Another forum participant agreed with the above comment: “That’s the real reason she’s angry. There would be no issue if she expected a small gift from Sam. She realized she lost out on an awesome gift, and she’s upset about it.”

3. Promises

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One individual agreed with Sam’s decision, saying, “I’m disappointed that Sam didn’t throw the ‘you made a promise’ back in her face. She promised he could come to the wedding.”

4. Give a Little

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A recent reactor to the posting thought Molly missed an excellent bargain. “If someone promised me a $1500 gift, I’d happily pay for their seat. Surely a meal wouldn’t cost anywhere near that. Spend $100 to get a $1500 return? Bargain!”

5. What’s Good for the Goose

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Someone felt Sam was completely justified in their reaction to Molly’s canceled invitation, adding, “Seriously! If I were Sam, I’d have said, ‘If I’m not a good enough friend to be at your wedding, you’re not a good enough friend to me to get a $1500 wedding gift.” And as the adage goes, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

6. Gifting Etiquette

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Several people agreed that Sam was right, and one, in particular, had this to say about the appropriateness of when to give a gift. “Gifts if invited but not attending (guests declined) I can agree with, but large and expensive gifts after being uninvited, yeah, no.”

7. Easy Fix

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One person had an effortless way for Molly to get her PC. “Easy fix – Molly can use the money she saved by uninviting Sam to buy the PC.”

8. Proper Suggestion

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One reader had the perfect gift for Molly. “Etiquette for Dummies. Or The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Etiquette. Tell Molly ‘I decided to get you something you clearly need!”

9. Dispensable

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Sometimes life requires tough choices. The consequences of those choices should stand. One commenter thought both the invite and the gift were equally unessential. “I mean, the sheer AUDACITY of people! Need to uninvite someone?

Sure, it’s your wedding. Your party. But to still expect them to give you an expensive wedding present and have the gall to fight them and call them names over it! If their invite was dispensable, so is your wedding gift.”

10. Here’s an Idea

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Another forum contributor had a great notion, “Tell her you’re having a birthday party next month, she’s not invited, but if she could drop off a 60″ home cinema system, that’d be great…”

Weights and Measures

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Situations like this cause you to stop and think about the weight of one outcome versus another. If Molly had paid for Sam to attend the wedding, she’d have scored a very nice gaming PC and not injured a new friendship.

Instead, Molly ruined any chance of friendship by a lie of omission and hurt herself. But to expect a considerable gift from someone after uninviting them to your wedding is simple entitlement, and Molly should have known better. What are your thoughts on this?

This story was inspired by Reddit and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Budget Savvy Bride.

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