Is it Reasonable to Expect Guests to Cover Expensive Resort Fees to Attend a Destination Wedding?

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Planning a wedding is a beautiful yet challenging experience, particularly when it comes to managing personal dynamics involving family and friends. In this Reddit story, we delve into a predicament faced by a group of friends who were invited to a destination wedding but couldn’t afford to stay at the expensive resort chosen by the couple. Let’s explore the situation and dissect the perspectives involved.

The Situation

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Our protagonist, let’s call them Sarah, finds themselves in a conundrum when two friends announce their destination wedding in Mexico. With a closeness scale of 5/10, Sarah and their group of friends were thrilled to be invited, despite not being part of the wedding party or the pre-wedding festivities. The wedding itself was set to take place at a restaurant venue, followed by a reception at an expensive resort where a block of rooms was reserved for the guests. However, the cost of staying at this resort was a whopping $500 per night per room.

The Financial Divide

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Sarah and three other friends in the group had varying economic situations and simply couldn’t afford to spend that much on accommodations. They collectively decided to book a different resort just five minutes away, at a significantly lower cost of $75 per night, amounting to a total of $400 for their four-night stay. The plan was to take a taxi to and from the wedding venue, making it a budget-friendly option that allowed them to enjoy a mini vacation while celebrating their friends’ special day.

The Upset

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Unfortunately, Sarah and their friends discovered that the bride and one of the bridesmaids were upset with them for not staying at the designated resort. They expressed disappointment, claiming it was selfish to turn a wedding into a vacation and insisted that everyone should stay together at the expensive resort. Sarah acknowledges that they should have given a heads-up to the couple about their alternative arrangements but remains perplexed by the anger expressed, considering the financial constraints faced by some of the guests.

Exploring the Perspectives

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In this situation, it’s crucial to consider the perspectives of all parties involved. The couple likely envisioned their friends sharing the entire wedding experience, including the luxury of the resort they carefully selected. They may have assumed that the cost of the accommodations was manageable for everyone and didn’t anticipate the financial limitations faced by some guests. On the other hand, Sarah and their friends were making a responsible choice by opting for a more affordable accommodation that aligned with their financial capabilities.

The Internet Reacts

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“They’re mad because they’re (probably) getting some kind of kickback from the resort for every room that’s booked in their block of reserved rooms. That frequently happens in the US. In fact, you might contact the wedding resort for a room without saying you’re with the wedding party. You might find the price is much lower. I’ve had that experience with wedding blocks”

Expectations Are Out of Control

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I’ve grown quite weary of this current trend where brides/grooms think their weddings should be the only event of consequence in the months preceding and following their big day. Frack that. My life doesn’t stop just because someone’s getting married. I am happy to celebrate with you, but you are not the main character in my life.

Go Your Own Way

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“It’s ridiculous to expect people to fly abroad for your wedding and to make a vacation out of it.

Enjoy your holiday and ignore them. All you owe them is an RSVP. Getting a block of rooms for your guests is fine but they are not obligated to use it.

Personally I make a practice of staying elsewhere when I attend destination weddings. I want to enjoy the rest of my stay and not get caught up in all wedding all the time.”

The Bride Can Get Over It

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“The bride has no reason to be upset. She booked an expensive resort & just expected people could afford it. Well, not everyone can afford it. And she should recognize that. I get that she booked a block of rooms, but there’s no rule that says you have to stay there & it’s none of her business if you want to make it a mini vacation. She only has the right to set the rules for the day of the wedding. Any other day is yours. NTA.”

The Couple Should Pay

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“Unless they are willing to pay for those expensive rooms, they don’t have any right to complain. $500 a night is an absolutely insane price to pay for a room. They’re mad because they would have gotten a discount for that block of rooms. Which only works if the guests can actually afford said rooms.”

Unreasonable Expectations

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The story of Sarah and their friends highlights the delicate balance between wedding expectations and financial realities. While there may have been missteps in communication, it’s crucial for both couples and guests to approach these situations with understanding and empathy. By acknowledging the limitations faced by some individuals and being flexible with arrangements, we can create an inclusive and harmonious environment during the wedding planning process.

What do you think? Is it unreasonable for couples to expect guests to pay for such an expensive resort to attend their wedding?

This story was inspired by Reddit and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Budget Savvy Bride.

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