Playing Favorites: Dad Pays for One Son’s Wedding After Denying the Other! Was He Wrong?
I’m back with another tricky wedding situation for you. There’s something about weddings that brings out the strangest behaviors within families. Let’s explore this story of a father who’s been accused of favoring one of his sons over another.
The Backstory
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Oh boy. Recently, a man we’ll call Jim shared a story that stunned many people. Jim explained his son is getting married to a woman he believes is “wonderful.”
He elaborated that she’s respectful, polite, and great with his granddaughter. She’s fifteen and never has gotten along with his son’s former partners, so this relationship excites him.
The Son Shared His Financial Pickle
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Jim shared that they were all talking when their wedding came up. After asking about their plans, they divulged that they did not have enough money for their dream wedding and honeymoon.
Dad Offered to Give Them Money for the Wedding
So they were debating which event to spend the money on the most. Finally, Jim suggested they could do both, and he’d pay half the price.
But Dad Didn’t Pay for His Other Son’s Wedding
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However, Jim’s other son asked him why he was paying for their wedding when he didn’t pay for his. So Jim told him he didn’t like his wife and that he knew.
“She has been very cold towards us since we first met and hardly ever speaks to us. So I can’t be expected to pay for a wedding I disapprove of.” His son accused him of showing favoritism.
Dad Says He’s Not Playing Favorites
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Then, Jim confessed that he said, “I didn’t pay for his brother’s first wedding either, so in order not to show favoritism, I’m willing to pay for his next wedding.”
Naturally, his son blew up, called him a curse word, and left. Now, Jim wonders if he did something wrong or if people understand him not paying for a wedding he didn’t support. Here is how the internet responded.
1. That Hurt
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One user confessed that the last line about “paying for the next one” hurt them and “they aren’t even his son!” Others agreed enough to make it the top comment before one “respected” his pettiness.’
2. Blatant Favoritism
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The fact that he implied his son’s marriage would fall apart caused many to agree with one who accused him of “blatant favoritism.” Also, telling his son that he might get a divorce was insensitive and mean.
3. Not Playing Favorites
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One argued that it wasn’t about playing favorites, suggesting you do not need to spend equal amounts on your children. Finally, they believe the parents can disapprove of the wife and not offer help.
4. I’m Not Surprised
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It’s your money, so it’s up to you! However, this user elaborated that his comments were “nasty and mean-spirited.” Additionally, they noted that if Mike speaks to everyone this way, it’s no wonder his daughter-in-law is cold and standoffish.
5. It’s Not About Their Wives. It’s About Your Sons!
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One user suggested, “You sound like King Lear, handing out cash to the kids that kiss your bum the most.” They further noted it isn’t about his wife. Instead, it’s about his son. “If you’re prepared to treat them this differently over this, I’d bet money it’s not the first time you’ve shown favoritism.”
6. I Laughed Out Loud
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“I laughed out loud at you paying for his second wedding! Thank you.” This user explained that favoritism exists between wives and not sons. Furthermore, it’s allowed, and Mike can spend his money how he sees fit.
7. He Didn’t Pay for the First Wedding
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He didn’t pay for the son’s first wedding. So many users in the thread agreed that he isn’t showing favorites and is allowed to do what he wants with his money.
8. You’ll Destroy Your Relationship
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One noted, “No one is entitled to a gift, and demanding one does not look good for your other son. That said, you are showing extremely blatant favoritism towards one son/daughter-in-law over the others, which will destroy your relationship with those you deem lesser.”
9. I Find You Hilarious
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Many people believed that Mike was hilarious. One added that they wouldn’t pay for a wedding if their daughter-in-law were cold. “Nope! Not MY hard-earned money.”
10. You’ll Always Have This Post
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Finally, one person suggested that Mike would always have this post to look back and reflect on when he wonders why his son is no longer speaking to him or why he never gets to meet future grandchildren.
This post was inspired by Reddit and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Budget Savvy Bride.
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