Would You Confront a Wedding No-Show? Why or Why Not?
Imagine the scene: your wedding day, the culmination of months of planning, is finally here. Emotions are running high as you glide through the day, surrounded by love and laughter. But as you take a moment to scan the reception hall, you’re struck by an unwelcome sight. Several seats meant for your invited guests are empty, reminding you that not everyone bothered to show up.
Several Guests RSVP’d but Didn’t Show!
Some of the people you invited even RSVP’d positively, but apparently decided not to show up at the last minute. You felt hurt and maybe even a little embarrassed. On top of that, you’re annoyed that you paid for the no-shows’ plates, which can cost $100 apiece.
The Decision at Hand: To Call or Not to Call?
As you wrestle with your emotions, one question plagues your mind: should you confront those who didn’t attend? Do you call the people who didn’t come? And if so, what do you say? Should you let it go or demand they pay for the wasted food? Members of an online forum banded together to share their opinions on the matter. Do you agree?
What is the Goal of Reaching Out?
Before you pick up the phone, clarify what you want from this interaction. Do you want to check the no-shows to ensure everything is okay? Do you want an apology? Would you like them to pay for the plates? Or would you like to chew them out? It’s essential to establish your goals before you dial their phone number.
Ask If Everyone is Okay
If you decide to contact the missing wedding guests, many respondents agree you should first ask if everyone is okay. You never know what personal issues could come up on the day of your wedding that makes it impossible for someone to show up. Tragic events like a death in the family or the loss of a job are valid reasons for someone skipping a wedding.
Many commenters urge people in this situation to move forward and leave it be. Some claim it’s rude to ask wedding guests for money in any case, and others claim that every wedding they’ve been to has at least a couple of no-shows. So enjoy the good memories of your wedding day and move on.
Talk to Clear the Air
If you decide to call the guilty parties, go into the conversation with an open mind. Your friend’s likelihood of missing your wedding for malicious reasons is relatively low. Suppose you establish an open dialogue and a friendly demeanor. In that case, you can share your feelings with the guests and hear their side of the story.
Asking for Money is Tacky
Quite a few respondents share that they find asking for money in this situation tacky. “I’m sorry that you had to pay for their meal, but that’s just part of getting married,” one user says.
Confrontation Won’t Get You Sympathy
If you approach the phone call with anger, you may not achieve the outcome you’re hoping for. What if you call the guests and yell at them for what they did, only to learn they couldn’t attend the wedding because their father passed away that same day?
Wait for Them to Reach Out
Other commenters urge people in this scenario to resist calling and wait for the guests to reach out instead. “Maybe they will eventually apologize and explain,” states one person. While it might be hard to put the power in the guests’ hands, it can also be a tool to help you move on.
Every Wedding has a Couple of No-Shows.
Many people share that at their weddings, they had some no-shows. Some even assert that every wedding will have at least one missing guest. Unfortunately, it’s a normal part of getting married.
Did You Take Home the Leftovers?
What happened to those plates of food that weren’t eaten during the ceremony? Most of the time, wedding parties get to take uneaten food home as leftovers. Other times, the newlyweds can offer waiters and caterers the leftovers. The food gets eaten in both scenarios, and nothing goes to waste.
It’s Part of the Cost of Doing Business
While wedding costs can be overwhelming, it’s ultimately your choice about who you invite, what food you provide guests, and where you host the reception. One user says some uneaten plates are simply “the cost of doing business.” In that case, many believe there is no good reason to ask missing guests to pay for their plates.
Would You Make the Call?
Now, dear reader, the time has come for you to weigh in. Would you muster the courage to dial those absent guests and voice your grievances? If so, what exactly would you say? Or do you believe it’s best to leave the past in the rearview mirror and focus on building your future together?
Weigh in in the comments!
This story was inspired by Quora and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Budget Savvy Bride.
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